Hiding Loneliness

One very painful issue for anyone to live with is loneliness. You can be one person in a room filled with many others and still feel empty and alone. It is one of the most fearful places to be and can cause a lot of sadness,  anxiety, anger and desperation. The origins of loneliness can come from a variety of different places. An abusive childhood where specific neglect was present, being abandoned by a loved one and feeling great loss, having isolated feelings, and keeping yourself isolated. These are environmental factors. There have been studies done where the idea of a genetic link is suggested as well. 
 
Loneliness has been reported in a few studies of college students who have said they connect it back to little or no parental involvement in their lives and these same parents had unhappy marital relationships. So, what do we gain from this? It does sound sad in terms of a person's connection with one or the other of their parents. Maybe they don't have hope of their own for relationships either. There is most likely deep longing and wonderment about why there was a disconnection with either or both parent. When this happens, unconsciously we often continue in our quest for a connection with that parent or we try to make sense of it by trying to mend it through other, similar (familiar) relationships that ultimately fail. 
 
When we attempt to hide our loneliness, which is what most people do, you may see it in other ways. These are becoming isolated and angry at others who may seem to one as happy or contented in relationship (and possibly lashing out). It may be acting out because you so want to be with someone, even temporarily. It may be having a difficult time just feeling calm if a relationship does begin, because you are so lonely that you are feeling desperate for touch or attention that you may become too close too soon. I think we continue relationships, at times, when they may be unhealthy because we really just want not to be alone. 

All of the hiding may be because of what loneliness means to people in our society, and it is not good. For me, as an empathic therapist, I feel so deeply for someone that is lonely I can only think of ways in which I can be there for them and guide them to ways in which they can see their worth and to take in love. The outside world, not always, can see loneliness as a form of desperation, weakness and neediness. So, I think it's even hard for some people to get help for their feelings even from a professional.